My blog is back.

I've decided I need to come back to my blog.  It's my open diary and I need to write. 

Jeff and I are beginning a new chapter in our life with one of our children.  Today, Cloee was unofficially diagnosed with Autism.  We are in the process of making an appointment with a developmental pediatrician, which of right now is next to impossible!  The one we were referred to is not taking new patients right now and is booked through February 2014.  So our Pediatrician is working on getting OT initiated for her. 

I also called the PPCD program to begin that process.  I am waiting on the diagnostician to call and set up the evaluation appointment.  If they find that she needs help, we will have a second appointment to set up an educational plan for her.  And then she will begin that program.  She is developmentally delayed and speech delayed so I'm fairly certain she will begin PPCD once the testing is complete.

I decided to come back to my blog because there may be another mom out there doubting her gut reactions.  I am here to say, "please don't."  You know your child better than anyone.  If something seems different, start documenting.  I sat down one day and wrote out 2 pages without thinking.

My anxiety levels have hit an all time high when taking Cloee out in public.  Not knowing if something would set her off or when it would set her off.  My mother finally saw one of her epic meltdowns (as I like to call them) in the car going home from my brother's wedding.  Once started, it lasted about 45 minutes, in the car.  Yes I did have to pull over and yes I had to get out of the van so I could breathe.

Along with the validation I feel, is the overwhelming feeling of heartbreak for my sweet girl.  I feel anger, a lot right now.  I'm not equipped for this, I'm scared for us, I'm scared for Cloee.  I don't know anything about Autism.  I feel like my whole life right now is spent educating myself on how to better parent each of my special needs children. 

I feel like I'm not a good enough parent to handle these challenges, why was I chosen to raise these beautiful children who need so much that I don't know about??  I'm reeling and I'm rambling. 

I've studied today.  Autism has to do with brain development-our Cloee had an extremely rough start in life, probably plays a huge part in it with some genetics mixed in. 

Would you please be in prayer for my sweet girl?  And for us as a family?

Happy Family Day Cloee!

Two years ago today, I stood in an airport in Washington D.C. waiting to meet my daughter for the first time. I remember Jilma walking through with a child in a stroller and I wondered, "where's Cloee?" She was actually wearing her but you could not tell there was a baby in there, she was so tiny. When she handed me this teeny tiny 8-1/2 lb. baby girl, I almost panicked. Wondering how I was going to handle such a small thing!
(This is Cloee's first picture in the airport that day.)

This is our little baby now.

She is full of life and brings such joy to our lives. Thank you God for blessing us with her!

Cloee turns 2

These are Cloee's baby pictures from when she lived with the Loma family. I will be forever grateful to them for taking my baby into their family and loving her until she could come home. They are an amazing family. God is using them to touch so many lives.

The picture above is my first time with Cloee, on November 17th, in the airport. She was so very tiny, she scared me!

Pastor Loma and Mama Loma and their family plus a few foster kids waiting on their families! Mama Loma is holding my precious girl!

And Cloee today. Sweet girl, you have brought so much joy into our lives. We are so thankful God brought us together to be a family.

Will she or won't she......

stay in her new temporary bed? Cloee's crib broke but we're not ready to put her in a twin bed yet so we came up with putting her crib mattress on the floor for now...



She does stay in it pretty good. Sometimes she likes to get up and go mess with Jenna. I have a feeling she will climb up into Jenna's twin bed with her soon. Both girls love Cloee's sleeping arrangements but mostly they like using it for a wrestling mat and a trampoline. Sometimes, every once in awhile, you may even catch Cade wrestling on it with the girls....I know....you're shocked.

Cloee's birthday

okay, yeah, well, I'm late with this. Since her birthday was over a month ago. We had a small celebration at our house. She got lots of clothes and some toys and had a great time.

Please note the pretty birthday sign hanging up with the orange duct tape. When you instruct your husband to hang up party signs you may want to indicate with what - flaming orange just doesn't match my theme does it? And, bless his heart (that's for Ryan & Kristin H), he didn't even realize it. Love that man! :)

Cloee Stats:

Cloee had her one year check up: She's healthy! These are the results:
Length: 82% ummmm, wow-we've never seen that before.
weight: 28% that seems low, but Dr. not concerned, said she's going to be tall and skinny-said she'll be our model. haha.

She is walking and trying to run; she eats our food and assumes she should get food every time someone else eats, even if she just ate; She can pick things up with her fingers, she says a few short words-dada, mama, ni-ni (night-night) and I'm sure there's other words but I don't understand her language yet; she loves music-bops her head and shakes her booty just like her big sister; She has several teeth and a bunch coming through-FUN times!; She is off the bottle and uses a sippy cup; loves to sing with you when you sing songs; she adores her sister and brother; she and Jenna chatter and laugh for hours at night (they do get in trouble at some point, I mean really, 11pm and they're still giggling and jumping around?); She is happy; She has a TEMPER; she doesn't like strangers; she prefers to be with me-attached to my leg, in my lap, arms-doesn't matter ;), she doesn't like to share (nor does her sister-I see fun times ahead with this); she is a thumb-sucker; She has the cutest gap between her top 2 teeth (I love it); she is a joy and I'm so lucky to get to stay home and raise her.

She is a blessing and I love her.

Happy Birthday Cloee

Our baby girl turns 1 today. She had a very rough start but because of God's Grace she is with us today. Thank you God for her!



In Congo, waiting to come home!

Monday is the day!

Well, tomorrow is the big day. We will find out if I will be flying to D.C. to pick up Cloee Wednesday morning. Everything Jilma has been working on regarding our adoption has been leading to this (along with another family). I pray this works out and the babies can come home!

Please be in prayer for us and the other family as well. Also Stori and the boys will be traveling home starting on Tuesday. I know she is so excited and probably anxious to be traveling with two small ones also. I've posted another picture of Cloee with Chad (Stori and Jamey's son). This was at their medical appointment and he kept giving her kisses. So cute!

More Cloee

We have more pictures of Cloee. We are so grateful to the Sullivans for taking the time to do this for us. I love getting these updates!

Cloee Part 2

A couple more pictures of Miss Cloee. I think those were the same day. Look at that bottle compared to her. She must have "petite" genes in her family! goodness! I don't have any updated news. Jilma was meeting with Master Okoko to check into our paperwork and see what our status was, etc.

new pictures of Cloee

The Sullivans arrived in DRC and have their boys in their arms now! They took a couple of pictures of Cloee and expect to see her again to take more pictures! the pictures may be hazy because they couldn't get the computer to upload the pictures so Jamey took a picture of the computer screen! Hey, whatever works.

Stori says she's tiny! She took some 0-3 month clothes, I think, and she says they're too big.

Edited to add: Pastor Loma says she's VERY vocal! should fit right in with our loud family!

Introducing the newest Solberg

With JOYFUL hearts (and NO guilt-thank you God)we are eager for you to meet the newest member of our family. She was born September 7, 2009 (yes, you read that right). She wakes up every 2 hours during the night-oh my goodness! All her tests have come back good and she has been out of the orphanage now for 12 days and in the loving arms of the Loma family. Our adoption should be final before October 27, 2009.
Please meet CLOEE AMANA SOLBERG